Hvordan ikke takle en skandale pkt. 1-6 - John Edwards' metoden

Som Amy Sullivan skriver p TIMEs blogg Swampland: Hun vil ikke skrive mer om John Edwards, vi vil ikke lese mer om ham, men s m vi pliktskyldigst g en runde til medEdwards og den tarvelige affren hanslikevel. Anledningen er n at Edwards tilsynelatende planlegger vedkjenne seg offentlig barnet til elskerinnen Rielle Hunter, barnet som han like offentlig sverget at han ikke var far til (Hvorfor all denne offentligheten hele tiden? Det er like uutholdelig som skulle se en The Office-maraton i bakrus).

Sullvan tilbyr en gjennomgang av Edwards-metoden i hvordan man kan fkke opp en skandale mest mulig:


1. Don't have an affair while you're running for president. Especially not if your wife is a beloved cancer survivor.


2. If you do have an affair, for God's sake, use protection.

3. If you don't use protection, and your mistress gets pregnant, do not ask a friend of yours to take the fall and claim the baby is his. Friend or not, he will write a book someday.

4. If you do ask a friend of yours to take the fall, do not also enlist campaign supporters to pay off your mistress so that she'll stay quiet. She won't.


5. If you do convince supporters to pay hush money, do not go visit your mistress (who you have publicly denied you were involved with) and your child (who you have publicly denied is yours) at a hotel in Los Angeles.

6. And if you ignore all of this and do make that visit and get caught by the National Enquirer and decide to finally confess the affair, do not take your cue from 1980s pop songs and continue to insist that the "kid is not my [daughter]." That will only seriously piss off your mistress. Not to mention your wife, when you eventually have to admit the truth to her, because this is the 21st century and we have tests that can establish paternity and even though your magical silver tongue made you rich and famous, you will not be able to talk your way out of that. Plus, the kid looks exactly like you.



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ingermerete

ingermerete

35, Oslo

Inger Merete Hobbelstad (f. 1980) er kulturjournalist, teateranmelder og filmanmelder i Dagbladet og burde egentlig vre lut lei av skrive etter endt arbeidsdag. Men den gang ei. Jo, og s har jeg mastergrad i Litteraturvitenskap med en oppgave som handlet om Homers "Iliaden". Hvilket jeg altfor sjelden fr sprsml om. Og s ns jeg p imh@dagbladet.no.

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